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The attendant came to tell me, so I ran down at once to have a look at
him. He was still in the strait waistcoat and in the padded room, but
the suffused look had gone from his face, and his eyes had something
of their old pleading. I might almost say, cringing, softness. I was
satisfied with his present condition, and directed him to be relieved.
The attendants hesitated, but finally carried out my wishes without
protest.
It was a strange thing that the patient had humour enough to see their
distrust, for, coming close to me, he said in a whisper, all the while
looking furtively at them, "They think I could hurt you! Fancy me
hurting you! The fools!"
It was soothing, somehow, to the feelings to find myself disassociated
even in the mind of this poor madman from the others, but all the same
I do not follow his thought. Am I to take it that I have anything in
common with him, so that we are, as it were, to stand together. Or
has he to gain from me some good so stupendous that my well being is
needful to Him? I must find out later on. Tonight he will not speak.
Even the offer of a kitten or even a full-grown cat will not tempt
him.
He will only say, "I don't take any stock in cats. I have more to
think of now, and I can wait. I can wait."
After a while I left him. The attendant tells me that he was quiet
until just before dawn, and that then he began to get uneasy, and at
length violent, until at last he fell into a paroxysm which exhausted
him so that he swooned into a sort of coma.
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