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"What would your ladyship have me to do?" he once said to my Lady
Ludlow, when she wished him to go and see a poor man who had broken
his leg. "I cannot piece the leg as the doctor can; I cannot nurse
him as well as his wife does; I may talk to him, but he no more
understands me than I do the language of the alchemists. My coming
puts him out; he stiffens himself into an uncomfortable posture, out
of respect to the cloth, and dare not take the comfort of kicking,
and swearing, and scolding his wife, while I am there. I hear him,
with my figurative ears, my lady, heave a sigh of relief when my back
is turned, and the sermon that he thinks I ought to have kept for the
pulpit, and have delivered to his neighbours (whose case, as he
fancies, it would just have fitted, as it seemed to him to be
addressed to the sinful), is all ended, and done, for the day. I
judge others as myself; I do to them as I would be done to. That's
Christianity, at any rate. I should hate--saving your ladyship's
presence--to have my Lord Ludlow coming and seeing me, if I were ill.
'Twould be a great honour, no doubt; but I should have to put on a
clean nightcap for the occasion; and sham patience, in order to be
polite, and not weary his lordship with my complaints. I should be
twice as thankful to him if he would send me game, or a good fat
haunch, to bring me up to that pitch of health and strength one ought
to be in, to appreciate the honour of a visit from a nobleman. So I
shall send Jerry Butler a good dinner every day till he is strong
again; and spare the poor old fellow my presence and advice."
My lady would be puzzled by this, and by many other of Mr.
Mountford's speeches. But he had been appointed by my lord, and she
could not question her dead husband's wisdom; and she knew that the
dinners were always sent, and often a guinea or two to help to pay
the doctor's bills; and Mr. Mountford was true blue, as we call it,
to the back-bone; hated the dissenters and the French; and could
hardly drink a dish of tea without giving out the toast of "Church
and King, and down with the Rump." Moreover, he had once had the
honour of preaching before the King and Queen, and two of the
Princesses, at Weymouth; and the King had applauded his sermon
audibly with,--"Very good; very good;" and that was a seal put upon
his merit in my lady's eyes.
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