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"The admirer of Mr. Kurtz was a bit crestfallen. In a hurried,
indistinct voice he began to assure me he had not dared to
take these--say, symbols--down. He was not afraid of the natives;
they would not stir till Mr. Kurtz gave the word. His ascendency
was extraordinary. The camps of these people surrounded the place,
and the chiefs came every day to see him. They would crawl.
. . . `I don't want to know anything of the ceremonies used
when approaching Mr. Kurtz,' I shouted. Curious, this feeling
that came over me that such details would be more intolerable
than those heads drying on the stakes under Mr. Kurtz's windows.
After all, that was only a savage sight, while I seemed at one bound
to have been transported into some lightless region of subtle horrors,
where pure, uncomplicated savagery was a positive relief,
being something that had a right to exist--obviously--
in the sunshine. The young man looked at me with surprise.
I suppose it did not occur to him Mr. Kurtz was no idol of mine.
He forgot I hadn't heard any of these splendid monologues on,
what was it? on love, justice, conduct of life--or what not.
If it had come to crawling before Mr. Kurtz, he crawled as much as the
veriest savage of them all. I had no idea of the conditions, he said:
these heads were the heads of rebels. I shocked him excessively
by laughing. Rebels! What would be the next definition I was to hear?
There had been enemies, criminals, workers--and these were rebels.
Those rebellious heads looked very subdued to me on their sticks.
`You don't know how such a life tries a man like Kurtz,' cried Kurtz's
last disciple. `Well, and you?' I said. `I! I! I am a simple man.
I have no great thoughts. I want nothing from anybody.
How can you compare me to . . .?' His feelings were too much for speech,
and suddenly he broke down. `I don't understand,' he groaned.
`I've been doing my best to keep him alive, and that's enough.
I had no hand in all this. I have no abilities. There hasn't been
a drop of medicine or a mouthful of invalid food for months here.
He was shamefully abandoned. A man like this, with such ideas.
Shamefully! Shamefully! I--I-- haven't slept for the last ten nights.
. . .'
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